Joe Cool

If you are a G.I. Joe fan like moi, today is a monumental day. Not only do you have G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra being released today on DVD, but you have the far superior G.I. Joe Resolute.

Now I know the Joe live action film grossed over $150 million in the U.S. (and $300 million worldwide) but as I mentioned on this site when I saw the film, I was severely disappointed. The movie was a frenetic, action packed mess. It was built for the modern short attention spanned video game set. Heavy action, spandex clad women, crazy locales, little plot and no nod to the history and backstory of the Joes. In short a mess.

G.I. Joe Resolute, on the other hand, hits on just about every note. It's the Joe cartoon we always wanted to see. It's smartly written, wonderfully animated, and the Joes sound (although with a limited voice acting cast) and act just like you always wanted them to. The body counts are high, the action is heavy and for once, Cobra is badass (look at the way they destroyed Moscow and killed 10 million people). It's the best of classic Joe. You have the Duke/Scarlett/Snake Eyes love triangle (with Scarlett wrongly selecting her man). You have Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow to the death (with a proper telling of their origin, unlike the crap in the live action film). You have (simply put) the best incarnation of G.I. Joe ever.

So when you hit your local Best Buy, before reaching for The Rise of Cobra, reach for G.I. Joe Resolute. Trust me, from a lifelong Joe fan, you will be making the better choice. Yo Joe!

Top 20 of 2008: Cobra EELs

I love G.I. Joe toys.... a lot. My favorites have always been the naval specialist. Hence Wet Suit is my favorite Joe of all time. I also have always had a soft spot in my heart for Shipwreck, Deep Six, Torpedo as well as the Cobra EELs.

This is the best ever version of the EELs from the 25th Anniversary line. With all its accessories on it has an uncanny resemblance to the Joes Wet Suit (probably why I like this figure so much). So much so that my wife suggested I buy a second EEL and have her repaint it as Wet Suit. It was a great idea, but these figures proved to be such a hit that they became quite collectible. A repaint never happened, and a Wet Suit has been included in the Assault on Cobra Island 7 pack that has been released (I have not yet purchased). This figure was tricked out with accessories, had great articulation and color scheme. Great figure all around.

Top 20 of 2008: Snake Eyes Mighty Mugg

One of my favorite toy lines of the past few years are Mighty Muggs. As my readers know, my favorite toy line of all-time are the G.I. Joes. This figure was the perfect marriage. Characters from my favorite toy line in a new great style.

When these figures were announced, I was ecstatic. Simply put, I love Mighty Muggs. Each one is a great piece of plastic art. I ran out of the house early on Christmas Eve to pick these up on the first day of release. My wife has a pic of an euphoric me as I came home with Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. This Snake Eyes piece is no exception. Its incredibly done. Greatly painted, great accessories, and as the package says 100% Awesome.

Noooooooooo Joe!

Last weekend marked the opening of the first ever live action G.I.Joe film. The fanboy in me was completely geeking out. While the skeptic in me totally knew this would be awful. Every preview I saw made me realize this wouldn't be the Joe I grew up with, still I couldn't resist.

I was able to talk my very expectant wife (34 weeks along) and my good buddy into going to the midnight showing with me. There is a movie theater close by the office, and I typically work late on Thursday, so everything was in allignment. I would finally get a chance to watch Snake Eyes versus Storm Shadow on the big screen, in live action.

Then the movie started... and my excitement level quickly waned. Let me preface my review by saying I'm a huge Joe fan. HUGE. I own 600 or so of the figures, and have just about every comic ever produced. I revere the classic 80's cartoon, which was such a huge piece of my childhood. I even liked the G.I. Joe Resolute that aired recently on the cartoon network. If done right, I love just about any version of G.I. Joe. This movie misses on a lot of levels.

First off, it seems the writers of the movies disregarded just about every piece of Joe history. This I simply don't understand. If you are going to make a movie out of one of the greatest pop culture series of all-time, why not use more of the source material. I love Snake Eyes and his mythology. To basically toss out the love story between he and Scarlett, to make use of a ridiculous Marlon Wayans, is a huge slap in the face. Also to have Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes meet as children is a huge mistake. We have to believe they could be brothers (a relationship forged over them being in a war together i.e. in the original Joes, SE and SS fight as teammates in Vietnam), and that Snake Eyes loses his whole family which leads him on a path to self discovery that leads him to the Arashikage dojo in Japan. Having a poor boy looking for a meal in Japan simply doesn't carry the same weight. Also while on the subject of Snake eyes, having him not speak because of a vow of silence is absurd. In the comics, he loses his voice while protecting Scarlett. Furthering the notion that the two of them are in love, and that he would do anything for her. All huge missed points in the film.

The other really huge problem I had with the film was Cobra Commander. Basically everything about him was awful. From his being the Baroness' brother, to being disguised as Dr. Mindbender (or whatever generic evil doctor that was), to his awful costume at the end (how do you forego the simple majesty of Cobra Commander's two iconic costumes. Either a hood or a shielded helmet... they had two options... argh). All things that missed the boat.

Another huge problem I had were the accelerator suits. They were simply not needed Joe's were always soldiers pushing themselves to their limits while battling an evil, ruthless terrorist organization. While I enjoyed the scene more than I thought I would (I was more put off by Scarlett's motorcycle riding which was ridiculous), I thought the suits were not needed and out of character. It was clearly the best action scene in the whole film, but it was superfluous and not G.I. Joe. Give me the same exact scene sans Scarlett on the motorcycle and the crazy suits and you have a scene literally pulled out of the old animated series.

With those broad strokes out of the way, lets take a look at some of the individual characters.

Duke: Channing Tatum was completely wooden, but believable when he was quiet and simply fighting like a soldier.
General Hawk: Dennis Quaid was fine as the Joe leader. It was actually pretty close to both the cartoon and comic.
Heavy Duty: Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje used a ridiculous and unnecesarry accent. He would have been much better served using his own voice and sounding more like he did on Lost, as opposed to simply sounding lost with an awful accent.
Ripcord: Marlon Wayans was a complete waste. The movie did not need his comedy interjected within it. A bit player on the show and comic, he was given way too much play. If you needed to give Duke a buddy, why not go with Flint or his brother, Falcon.
Scarlett: Rachel Nichols was the closest to being spot on. She fought well, was smart and loving, was badass with a wrist mounted crossbow and was a red head. Short of her relationship with Snake Eyes, she was the character they most got right.
Snake Eyes: Ray Park did a great job with the physical aspects of the film. We learn very little about SE and they completely ruined his backstory, but Park does a great job with the action scenes. The mask on the costume was awful, but everything else was designed well.
Breaker: Saïd Taghmaoui was fine as the tech expert on the team. We learn little to nothing about him, and thats fine. He had one of the best geek out moments of the film when he popped in a piece of Double Bubble and blew a big bubble ala his character in the comics.
Baroness: Sienna Miller was right on as well. Besides Scarlett, she was the most dead-on of all the characters. Her costumes were perfect. The backstory was awful (dating Duke, having CC for a brother) but Sienna herself was great.
Destro: Christopher Eccleston was just OK. He should have been the star of this pre-Cobra prequel, but he falls a little flat. Eccleston played it a little closer to the vest. Also he wasn't physically on par with Destro. He was simply too small.
Cobra Commander: Joseph Gordon-Levitt was awful. It was like he mailed it in. Of course, he didn't have much to work with. Awful backstory, awful costumes. Simply awful all around.
Storm Shadow: Byung-hun Lee was basically what you'd expect from Storm Shadow. Had some nice modern ninja style outfits, overall his costume worked better than Snake Eyes. Played a much bigger role than SS typically did in previous Joe stories.
Zartan: Arnold Vosloo was a joke as the master of disguise. A simple hat, or an eye patch do not a master of disguise make. Interesting plot point with Zartan as the President.

All in all, I must admit to being thoroughly disappointed in the film. Had I been a 10 year old boy (what I guess the core demographic would be) I would have loved it. It hops all over the world, has an action scene every 12 minutes and enough eye candy to keep most happy. I unfortunately expected greater. This film missed for me on so many levels.

Top 20 of 2008: Cobra Commander

My favorite toy line of all-time is G.I. Joe. Now while the movie did not live up to expectations, that doesn't tarnish how I feel about the action figures. Specifically the 25th Anniversary line which I feel is the best incarnation of these figures ever. This specific Cobra Commander is from the G.I. Joe Resolute animated movie.

This is the 39th version of CC, and the absolute best. He has a removeable cloak and helmet, a saber and black pistol. The figure is dressed in more of a ceremonial garb and has the most articulation ever for a Cobra Commander figure.

Cobra Commander is the first of many of the 25th Anniversary Joes that will be on this list. As I tightened the reins on the toy budget, the one toy line I continued to support was the Joes. These figures were simply that good.

I'll sign back on tomorrow and post my thoughts on G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra tomorrow.

Top 10 Toys of 2007... #5

I absolutely love the 25th Anniversary G.I. Joe re-issues. They are simply put the best Joe's of all time. This is the Stormy from the Cobra five pack (yup, I tore that puppy open). It truly is a great figure.

The sculpting and color applications (check out the gold trim on the wrap) are spot on. They also went all out on the articulation and the accessories. The most possible Storm Shadow of all time also has the best accs. The assorted swords and bow and arrows are very impressive. I never owned the original Storm Shadow so this for me was a brand new figure. I think this is hands down the best Cobra figure ever produced.

Top 10 Toys of 2007

The title is pretty self explanatory. Over the next few days I will be posting pics that my incredibly talented wife took (thank you baby) of my favorite toys of 2007. I'll start at 10 and work my way to number 1. Here we go...


I've been very vocal about how amazing I thought the 25th Anniversary G.I. Joes are. You will see more than one of these figures on this list. Simply put these are the best G.I. Joes of all time. Articulation, sculpting, accessories are all spot on. I have always had a soft spot in my heart for G.I. Joes and have barely been able to contain myself over these action figures. I don't buy a ton of figures anymore, but I've bought the bulk of these. They simply are that good.


One of the gems that was released in the initial Cobra 5 pack was this version of Destro. The 14th version of the figure is clearly the best Destro ever produced. Silver head, grenades on arm, useable holster all sculpted beautifully. This figure is slightly taller than the rest of the figures in the set which helps give the air of strength that the character typically carried in the cartoon and comics. I can't say enough about how well sculpted the head on the figure is. The attention to detail is amazing. The MARS briefcase with open spot to hide a handgun is also a nice little touch. A nice nod to the original release which also had the briefcase. No stone was left unturned with these figures. It's as if they heard all the complaints of fanboys over the years and decided to make a nearly perfect series of action figures.

Coooooobbbbrrrrrrraaaaaaaaa!!!... Serpentor

No Top Joes/Cobra list would be complete for me without Serpentor. My only wish was that I still had the complete figure with cape and skiff. This was one of the best designed and sculped Cobra figures ever. My allure in first wanting this figure was the great origin they gave him on the cartoon. I remember running home to catch the latest installment of the 5 part series to see just what Cobra was up to. I mean it was great, splicing the DNA of the great despots in history. Of course rewatching those cartoons as an adult I realize how cheesy they actually were, but whatever, I loved it as a child.

In the comics Serpentor was always handled a little uneasily. Was he a partner to Cobra, a leader of a subdivision or something else entirely. Who knows... who cares. What he was, was an amazing action figure.

I always remember playing Joes with my older brother and younger sister. We would sit there and draft teams of Joes, Serpentor was always one of those go-to-joes for me. Right after my numbers 1 and 2 figures (Wetsuit and Blizzard) I always struggled for my 3 which was a toss up between Snake Eyes and Serpentor. That is how highly I thought of this figure.

Design/Sculpt and color scheme easily make this figure one of the finest of all the Joes.

Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow/Cobra Commander

I started this piece on 7/24, put it down in wedding week craziness, so I decided to finish it up last night. It was back to being a typical Tuesday. Picking up Scrappy, making dinner (what a mess I made... zoinks!), eating dinner, giving her a bath, reading her a story, putting her to sleep. The Mrs. was out with friends for a going-away party. So, I was solo.

I finished the pencils and was really happy with the pencils. They took about an hour and a half. Then I started inking the piece and was storming through that when I saw a shaded piece on Snake Eyes that I inked in... in my eyes it was a big mistake. Here is the piece.



I think I'm gonna go back in tonight and black in some more of Snake Eyes costume, as well as grey in some detail to add some depth.

It was a wierd night for art. For the first time in a long time midway through inking, I just wasn't feeling it. I don't know. Hopefully next week feels better for me.

New Art... Tomorrow

This is turning into quite the busy week. Trying to wrap everything off before taking off for a few days sure is harder than it seems. With that said I did try and relax while starting to draw a picture last night. It was a pretty standard Tuesday night. I picked up Scrappy (explained to her that the fish had died... very sad... we'll miss you Brad), made dinner (sadly I didnt take a picture... it was breaded oven baked pork, with pasta and green beans), fed her, sat with her while she made a card for Brad, watched some Hannah Montana and then cleaned her up and got her ready for bed (we read "Welcome to Narnia").

After getting her down I started to work on a piece I had been planning for a while. A really cool Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. I was tired and it was getting late, but I decided to go for it anyway. I started to put Snake Eyes together while chatting with my love who was still at work over IM. I got almost completely done with Snake Eyes and was getting ready to start up on Storm Shadow when my love says "my back really hurts"... so I wondered what I could possibly do for someone who does so much for me. So I offered up "don't worry when you get home I'll give you a massage". Now, I'm not a very good massuese but I once grabbed a book from the ELLE Book Sale titled the Art of Massage, so I quickly turned to the Back chapter and gave it a quick read. By the time I was done reading the chapter my love was home and after she ate and relaxed a bit, I was able to give her a nice little massage.

It wasn't much but I think it helped ease the stress she was feeling and helped her sleep a little easier. I like to think it helped.

I'll finish up Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow tonight and post it tomorrow.

Coooooobbbbrrrrrrraaaaaaaaa!!!... Desert Scorpion

For my second Cobra figure I wanted to use a really obscure figure that I really liked. Hence the selection of the Desert Scorpion. He was a figure in the 1991 collection of Joe's. The design on the figure is really well done. The boots and gloves have a cool sculpt to them. The Helmet contained a fabric portion that hung down behind the back of the head. The overall sculpt of the figure used the more muscular Joe sculpt. This figure definitely looked like one of the more imposing Cobra characters.

I was also a huge fan of the color scheme of the figure. The brown, orange, black and yellow combo was very strong. While most Joe's were a bit simpler in terms of their color schemes this one was a little more extravagent and well done. The Desert Scorpion also had a great backpack that allowed most of his weapons and accessories to be attached. Unfortunately I dont think I still have the backpack... sad. The figure also came with a ridiculously large black scorpion.

The file card is pretty well written. On it we learn that the Desert Scorpions are unmotivated Vipers who cannot follow directions, so they are basically dumped in the desert and have to learn to survive. I always thought this was a cool obscure late generation Cobra figure.

Coooooobbbbrrrrrrraaaaaaaaa!!!

So I've been reviewing and posting lots of G.I. Joe figures lately, but no mention of Cobra figures. We all know that a hero is only as good as his villains. Luckily the Joe's had a great villain in Cobra Commander. Yeah he was portrayed as wacky and over the top in animated series, but anyone who read the comics knows he was really a badass. He was a trained ninja just slightly below th elevel of Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. Yeah his plots for world domination were usually absurd and over the top, but he was still a pretty fierce villain.



While most people tend to gravitate towards the Cobra Commander figures that have the blue and gold (or silver) color scheme I've always thought that this version (the 6th version of CC from 1993) with the black and silver color scheme was better. It made Cobra Commander seem serious and more like a threat. This was one of the later series of Joe's that didn't have a very detailed file card, but described all the weapons that CC carried. This figure came with a ridiculous red Cobra cannon. That seemed to be the downfall of the later Joes, as they all had to have ridiculously large missle firing weapons. I guess America was over the ridiculous kids who shot themselves in the eye with the Boba Fett with the rocket-firing jet pack. None of these weapons were very interesting. What I really like about this figure was the color scheme and how different it was. Most people are such purists and can only see CC in blue and gold... I think this figure in black worked a lot better.